Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

For the Reading Challenge(s):
2024 Nonfiction Reader Challenge
2024 Audiobook Challenge
2024 Library Love Challenge

The Reason

I’m a fan of the TV show Friends, and Chandler was always my favorite character. I don’t read a lot of biographies, so I didn’t feel a need to read this one when it came out, especially since there were some less than great comments about it. But there were also some good reviews, and after he passed away last year, I thought I should give it a chance.

The Quotes

“When someone does something nice for someone else, I see God. But you can’t give away something you don’t have. So, I try to improve myself daily. When those moments come and I am needed, I’ve worked out my shit, and do what we are all here for, which is simply to help other people.”

“I’m not the biggest fan of confrontation. I ask a lot of questions. Just not out loud.”

“I am me. And that should be enough, it always has been enough. I was the one who didn’t get that. And now I do. I’m an actor, I’m a writer. I’m a person. And a good one at that. I want good things for myself, and others, and I can continue to work for these things. There is a reason I’m still here. And figuring out why is the task that has been put in front of me. And it will be revealed. There is no rush, no desperation. Just the fact that I am here, and I care about people, is the answer. Now when I wake up, I wake up curious, wondering what the world has in store for me, and I for it. And that’s enough to go on.”

“And have you ever stood on the water’s edge and tried to stop the wave? It goes on regardless of what we do, regardless of how hard we try. The ocean reminds us that we are powerless in comparison.”

The Narrator

Matthew Perry himself. It was nice to hear him tell his story in his own voice. I thought he came across very honest and genuine.

My Thoughts

Matthew Perry is Chandler. They both have the difficult childhood, the addictive personalities, insecurities with women, the need for attention and to be the funniest guy in the room. The difference is that Matthew never got the happy ending Chandler did, and all the things they went through might’ve been funny on a sitcom, but not so much in real life. Matthew’s addictions were also bigger and more terrible.

There were many instances in the book where Matthew came across as a not so good guy, but what I liked about it was that he was honest. He didn’t like himself very much a lot of the time, and he also regrets a lot of the things he did, but he was true to the story of his life, and he bared it all in this book.

My Feels

I feel so much compassion for him. He was in so much pain throughout the course of his life from such a young age, and even at the peak of his career, he never found peace. The book ended well, with a lot of hope for the future, and I feel like he didn’t have a lot of time to see that through. He wanted to be remembered as more than his role in Friends, and even though his work in Friends is what I loved most about him, this book has allowed me to get to know the real him a little more. I see you, Matty. Thank you for being a Friend.

My Rating

⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.

Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?