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On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family’s history that began before he was born — a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam — and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity.
Asking questions central to our American moment, immersed as we are in addiction, violence, and trauma, but undergirded by compassion and tenderness, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is as much about the power of telling one’s own story as it is about the obliterating silence of not being heard.
With stunning urgency and grace, Ocean Vuong writes of people caught between disparate worlds, and asks how we heal and rescue one another without forsaking who we are. The question of how to survive, and how to make of it a kind of joy, powers the most important debut novel of many years.
This was my bookclub’s Book of the Month for June, with the theme being LGBQT+ books/writers.
The Quotes
“They say nothing lasts forever but they’re just scared it will last longer than they can love it.”
“Because the sunset, like survival, exists only on the verge of its own disappearing. To be gorgeous, you must first be seen, but to be seen allows you to be hunted.”
“I am writing because they told me to never start a sentence with because. But I wasn’t trying to make a sentence—I was trying to break free. Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”
“Perhaps it was not a destination I sought, but merely a continuation.”
The Narrator(s)
The writer himself, Ocean Vuong. The book was absolutely beautiful and he was the perfect narrator for it.
My Thoughts
I had no idea what to expect going into this book but suffice to say I didn’t know it was going to be so beautiful and lyrical. The book talks about a lot of difficult things, awkward things, painful things, but with such beautiful words and flow that makes it feel like a magical fever dream. I don’t know how to describe it but it’s just one of the most amazing reading experiences and it moves you to the core.
My Feels
I loved it, and I love it some more. There’s so much complexity in this story and the way the story is told. I’m just so blown away.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
Logen Ninefingers, infamous barbarian, has finally run out of luck. Caught in one feud too many, he’s on the verge of becoming a dead barbarian – leaving nothing behind him but bad songs, dead friends, and a lot of happy enemies.
Nobleman Captain Jezal dan Luthar, dashing officer, and paragon of selfishness, has nothing more dangerous in mind than fleecing his friends at cards and dreaming of glory in the fencing circle. But war is brewing, and on the battlefields of the frozen North they fight by altogether bloodier rules.
Inquisitor Glokta, cripple turned torturer, would like nothing better than to see Jezal come home in a box. But then Glokta hates everyone: cutting treason out of the Union one confession at a time leaves little room for friendship. His latest trail of corpses may lead him right to the rotten heart of government, if he can stay alive long enough to follow it.
Enter the wizard, Bayaz. A bald old man with a terrible temper and a pathetic assistant, he could be the First of the Magi, he could be a spectacular fraud, but whatever he is, he’s about to make the lives of Logen, Jezal, and Glokta a whole lot more difficult.
Murderous conspiracies rise to the surface, old scores are ready to be settled, and the line between hero and villain is sharp enough to draw blood.
My online bookclub had a disagreement about the books, with some saying they loved it and some saying they hated it. I had to see what the fuss was about and where I stood on the matter.
I finished these books way back in May and June, and hadn’t gotten around to reviewing them so I decided to review them as a series and not as individual books.
Steven Pacey. He is an amazing narrator for these books! I have to admit that he makes me want to reread the books again just to hear his narration. His portrayal of Glokta is particularly good, but he does a great job with all the characters throughout and I’m really curious to try more of his works.
My Thoughts
The Blade Itself I started this book not really liking any of the main characters, and ended up loving them all! I think it’s brilliant that they are all so flawed and yet so relatable. I also love the “taglines” and repetitive quotes many of the characters use throughout the book. Some people criticise it as being lazy writing, but I feel like it’s actually quite true to real life because we repeat quotes and sayings all the time, and these characters and this world happen to have their own set of quotes and sayings they use all the time. I loved the first book and it left me wanting more.
Before They Are Hanged I started the second book almost immediately after, and I loved it even more. I especially love the quest that Logen and his team go on, and the way they all bonded through that journey. A lot of second books aren’t the best, but I think this one might be my favorite book in the trilogy. The stakes get higher, and it’s so thrilling to see some of the ways they resolve their issues. Glokta’s story was very exciting too, and he’s easily one of my favorite characters.
Last Argument of Kings It took a while to get to the final book because I had to wait on some book buddies, but I’ll be upfront and say I’m not completely satisfied with the resolution of the story in this book. I’m happy with most of it, but I have a problem with Logen’s storyline because I didn’t feel it was consistent what we’ve seen of him before. It’s a whole thing and I could get into it, but I won’t for now (unless provoked! 😂) so I’ll just focus on the positives. Overall, I loved the whole trilogy, and if I can find more audiobooks in set in this world narrated by Steven Pacey, I’m definitely going to read more!
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars
Have you read this series? Would you read this series? Did you like the books or do you think you would like them?
Welcome to the Monthly Wrap Up hosted by Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction to share our monthly wrap-up posts that summarizes our month in books, our favorite books of the month, what we did on our blogs, and anything noteworthy we want to share.
June 2024 Wrap Up
June was a difficult month for me for a few different reasons and I wasn’t able to do a lot on the blog. I didn’t read very many books compared to last month, but I did spend a lot of time escaping into books, which was good. I’ve been emotionally exhausted and haven’t wanted to post on the blog at all, but I get hesitant about reading more books if I’ve left a lot of books unreviewed. I also needed to get this monthly update done because I’d feel like something was missing if I didn’t!
I’m just doing the bare minimum for now, so please bear with me. I’m trying to sort myself out and I’ll be back to normal as soon as I can. Also, I know I have a lot of blog visiting to catch up on. I’m sorry!
My June 2024 TBR Intentions
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler
Dragons of Autumn Twilight by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Dragons of Winter Night by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Dragons of Spring Dawning by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Nina the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
The Storm We Made by Vanessa Chan
The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson
Almost every single book I read this month was great!
I think my favorites were the Heartstopper books, which really surprised me because I didn’t think I’d be interested in reading about teenage boys, but it was the most wholesome, happy, cute book and I loved all the characters!
You Like It Darker by Stephen King was another favorite, but no surprise there, I knew I was going to love anything he wrote. Every single one of the stories were great, and I really just keep wanting more!
Another book that did surprise me is On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong. I went in not knowing much about it but ended up finishing the book in one day because it was just so lyrical and beautiful and I couldn’t stop listening.
Hello Stranger and David Copperfield were amazing too, but there were too many strong contenders this month! I think Hello Stranger is my favorite Katherine Center book so far, and David Copperfield is just so good especially after reading Demon Copperhead.
It’s not my intention to list every book I read this month, just the notable ones, but it’s not my fault that they were all so good!
2024 Diversity Reading Challenge – 13/12 – Started at 11/12 at the beginning of the month. Read two diverse books this month, and I’ve achieved my challenge! Upping my challenge to 20!
2024 Bookish Books Challenge – 5/10 – Started at 5/10 at the beginning of the month. Did not read any bookish book this month.
2024 Audiobook Challenge – 47/75 – Started at 40/75 at the beginning of the month. Listened to 7 audiobooks this month!
2024 Library Love Reading Challenge – 60/60 – Started at 56/60 at the beginning of the month. I’ve hit my target and it’s the highest target level so I’ll consider it accomplished! But I’ll just keep going!
The Classics Club – 4/10 – Started at 3/10 at the beginning of the month. Read one classic book this month!
July 2024 TBR Intentions
This month I want to try to make a dent on more nonfiction and books I own. I’ve neglected them for years, so I want to at least try to get some read!
The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs by Steve Brusatte
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
Feeling Good by David Burns
The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Frequency by Penney Pierce
The Enchanted Life by Sharon Blackie
I still want to read fiction and books I listed for last month’s TBR, but I want to try to prioritize these for the month.
How was your month in June? What were your most memorable bookish moments? I hope you have a wonderful July with lots of great books!
Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.
Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won’t set her free without a service.
Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier. Without Gideon’s sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die.
There was a buddy read for it on my online bookclub and I couldn’t resist! I’ve also had it on my TBR for a while but wasn’t actually planning to read it so soon, but the buddy read got me.
The Quotes
“But Gideon was experiencing one powerful emotion: being sick of everyone’s shit.”
“If you do not find yourself a galaxy, it is not so bad to find yourself a star.”
“Maybe it’s that I find the idea comforting… that thousands of years after you’re gone… is when you really live. That your echo is louder than your voice.”
“They do not have to enjoy each other’s society; they must simply take their togetherness as assumed. The cavalier who will not sleep in the same room as their necromancer must question themselves as to why. Their love is the love that fears only for the other: the love of service on both sides.”
The Narrator(s)
Moira Quirk. I’ve listened to her on other books before and quite enjoy her narration. She was great here too. I think my issue with this book is that it’s not very easy to follow on audio. I get the gist, but I feel like I missed a lot of details and the details are important for this story.
My Thoughts
I really enjoyed the story and the narration, but as I said, I think I missed a lot of details that might have been important. I caught the broad strokes, I get what’s happening, but apparently I missed a lot of the nuances, jokes and puns, the little scenes that make it great. I think I’ll come back to this book again on print. Especially since I want to continue with the series and I’d like to be sure I get the details before moving forward.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
From legendary storyteller and master of short fiction Stephen King comes an extraordinary new collection of twelve short stories, many never-before-published, and some of his best EVER.
“You like it darker? Fine, so do I,” writes Stephen King in the afterword to this magnificent new collection of twelve stories that delve into the darker part of life—both metaphorical and literal. King has, for half a century, been a master of the form, and these stories, about fate, mortality, luck, and the folds in reality where anything can happen, are as rich and riveting as his novels, both weighty in theme and a huge pleasure to read. King writes to feel “the exhilaration of leaving ordinary day-to-day life behind,” and in You Like It Darker, readers will feel that exhilaration too, again and again.
“Two Talented Bastids” explores the long-hidden secret of how the eponymous gentlemen got their skills. In “Danny Coughlin’s Bad Dream,” a brief and unprecedented psychic flash upends dozens of lives, Danny’s most catastrophically. In “Rattlesnakes,” a sequel to Cujo, a grieving widower travels to Florida for respite and instead receives an unexpected inheritance—with major strings attached. In “The Dreamers,” a taciturn Vietnam vet answers a job ad and learns that there are some corners of the universe best left unexplored. “The Answer Man” asks if prescience is good luck or bad and reminds us that a life marked by unbearable tragedy can still be meaningful.
King’s ability to surprise, amaze, and bring us both terror and solace remains unsurpassed. Each of these stories holds its own thrills, joys, and mysteries; each feels iconic. You like it darker? You got it.
Because I’m a huge fan of Stephen King’s and he just keeps getting better!
The Quotes
“Imagination is hungry, and needs to be fed.”
“The world is full of rattlesnakes. Sometimes you step on them and they don’t bite. Sometimes you step over them and they bite anyway.”
“Grief sleeps but doesn’t die. At least not until the griever does.”
“He considered this, then looked out the window at the steady rain. Nothing is colder than cold November rain. It crossed my mind that someone should write a song about it… and eventually, someone did.”
The Narrator(s)
Will Patton, and Stephen King for a couple of the stories. I always love Stephen King narrating his own stories, and Will Patton is the next best narrator.
My Thoughts
All the stories are so good and engrossing. I find myself getting sucked in and wanting more. I listened to these stories on audiobook and just flew through them. There were some that were more memorable than others; Two Talented Bastids, Danny Coughlin’s Bad Dream, Rattlesnakes, and The Answer Man. Rattlesnakes is very haunting and also refers back to Cujo and Duma Key. I’ve read both, a while ago, and remember loving them but I don’t remember much else and this made me want to reread!
My Feels
I love that Stephen King is such a prolific writer and I have so many more of his books I haven’t read and can look forward to, because he always leaves me wanting more. His stories are just so real, so well-written, and flow so well. I have so much admiration and respect for his mastery.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
That’s how long recovering addict Sophie’s been drug-free. Four months ago her best friend, Mina, died in what everyone believes was a drug deal gone wrong – a deal they think Sophie set up. Only Sophie knows the truth. She and Mina shared a secret, but there was no drug deal. Mina was deliberately murdered.
Forced into rehab for an addiction she’d already beaten, Sophie’s finally out and on the trail of the killer—but can she track them down before they come for her?
“But my heart isn’t simple or straightforward. It’s a complicated mess of wants and needs, boys and girls: soft, rough, and everything in between, an ever-shifting precipice from which to fall.”
“I’ll choose you. No matter how hard it is. No matter what people say. Every time, I’ll choose you. It’s up to you to choose me back.”
“Bad ideas are sometimes necessary.” It sounds so much like an excuse, it’s such an addict thing to say, that it makes my skin crawl.”
“When you’re kept by a secret, the first time you hear it spoken out loud is mesmerizing.”
The Narrator(s)
The author herself. It was so good, I always love it when an author narrates their own book because you can hear their emphases and expressions.
My Thoughts
Tess Sharpe is one of my favorite YA Thriller authors and I don’t think that anyone even comes close to her when writing these plots and these badass female MCs. I didn’t like this one as much as the others I’ve read by her – The Girls I’ve Been and Barbed Wire Heart – but that’s relative and only because the other two were so good.
My Feels
I love that the MC was so flawed and had her faults; we see her struggling really badly but still tapping into her inner reserves of strength and resolve. I love that she’s so worth rooting for, and I’m really awed by Tess Sharpe’s ability to write such interesting characters.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
‘Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show’
Dickens’s epic, exuberant novel is one of the greatest coming-of-age stories in literature. It chronicles David Copperfield’s extraordinary journey through life, as he encounters villains, saviours, eccentrics and grotesques, including the wicked Mr Murdstone, stout-hearted Peggotty, formidable Betsey Trotwood, impecunious Micawber and odious Uriah Heep.
Dickens’s great Bildungsroman (based, in part, on his own boyhood, and which he described as a ‘favourite child’) is a work filled with life, both comic and tragic.
I’ve been wanting to read more Dickens, and I guess all the raving reviews about Demon Copperhead and the similarities between these two books encouraged me to pick them both up sooner rather than later! It also helped that they fit the 52 Book Club Challenge, and I was also doing The Classics Club challenge!
The Quotes
“I never could have done what I have done, without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one object at a time.”
“There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose.”
“It’s in vain to recall the past, unless it works some influence upon the present.”
“It has always been in my observation of human nature, that a man who has any good reason to believe in himself never flourishes himself before the faces of other people in order that they may believe in him. For this reason, I retained my modesty in very self”
“My advice is, never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time.”
The Narrator(s)
Richard Armitage. Oh, I have such mixed feelings! Intellectually, I feel like the narrator did such an amazing job and is incredibly talented. Emotionally, I hate his voices for some of the characters because they are just so vile and annoying and disgusting! Which are entirely suitable to those characters and brought them to life for me, both a good and bad thing because oh, I hated them!
My Thoughts
It’s weird because my thoughts about this book I think will be forever linked to my thoughts about Demon Copperhead. This book has existed for way longer than Demon Copperhead and has been on my radar before Demon Copperhead was ever written, but since I heard so much hype about Demon Copperhead and ended up reading it first, I almost feel like it’s a duology, each taking place centuries apart.
I had no idea what either book was about, and I had no idea to what extent Demon Copperhead was similar to David Copperfield, so everything was still a surprise to me as I read it. I also thought both books were brilliant, but to be quite honest, my respect and admiration for Barbara Kingsolver has gone up after reading David Copperfield and seeing how she incorporated all the elements of the story into Demon Copperhead. They are both incredible books, and I’m very likely to reread both sometime down the line soon.
My Feels
This is a gorgeous book, and in some ways, I regret not reading it before Demon Copperhead because I would’ve liked to have seen it from a fresh perspective, especially since it came first. But either way, I’m glad I read both. I feel like this book has its ups and downs, but it feels more hopeful, and I love that.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
Sadie Montgomery never saw what was coming . . . Literally! One minute she’s celebrating the biggest achievement of her life—placing as a finalist in the North American Portrait Society competition—the next, she’s lying in a hospital bed diagnosed with a “probably temporary” condition known as face blindness. She can see, but every face she looks at is now a jumbled puzzle of disconnected features. Imagine trying to read a book upside down and in another language. This is Sadie’s new reality with every face she sees.
But, as she struggles to cope, hang on to her artistic dream, work through major family issues, and take care of her beloved dog, Peanut, she falls into—love? Lust? A temporary obsession to distract from the real problems in her life?—with not one man but two very different ones. The timing couldn’t be worse.
If only her life were a little more in focus, Sadie might be able to find her way. But perceiving anything clearly right now seems impossible. Even though there are things we can only find when we aren’t looking. And there are people who show up when we least expect them. And there are always, always other ways of seeing.
I had this on my TBR before I read The Bodyguard but ended up reading The Bodyguard first and loved it. I think I’m probably going to read as many of the author’s works as I can!
The Quotes
“The more good things you look for, the more you find.”
“We’re all just doing the best we can. We’re all struggling with our struggles. Nobody has the answers. And everybody, deep down, is a little bit lost.”
“But I guess that’s the great thing about life—it gives you chance after chance to rethink it all. Who you want to be. How you want to live. What really matters.”
“Light matters just as much as darkness. Play matters as much as work, and kindness matters as much as cruelty, and hope matters as much as despair. More so, even. Because tragedy is a given, but joy is a choice.”
My Thoughts
Amnesia is an overdone cliché, but face blindness is something completely new and in this story, allows us to imagine some of the same scenarios that amnesia could put the protagonist in. It’s a tiny bit cheesy and dramatic, but I loved how the story played out and I love the chemistry between the main characters! I’m also not a huge fan of miscommunication tropes in general, but it worked for this story, and I think to an extent, it’s genius how the author uses these tools and mold them to tell a wonderful and hilarious love story!
My Feels
I loved this one and I think it might be my favorite romance so far this year, which is saying a lot because I’ve read a couple of great ones so far! I can’t wait to read more from Katherine Center!
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more…?
Charlie Spring is in Year 10 at Truham Grammar School for Boys. The past year hasn’t been too great, but at least he’s not being bullied anymore. Nick Nelson is in Year 11 and on the school rugby team. He’s heard a little about Charlie – the kid who was outed last year and bullied for a few months – but he’s never had the opportunity to talk to him.
They quickly become friends, and soon Charlie is falling hard for Nick, even though he doesn’t think he has a chance. But love works in surprising ways, and sometimes good things are waiting just around the corner…
I was looking for a quick read and the books were available on Libby. I didn’t expect to love them so much but I just blew right through all of them and it might be my favorite thing in the whole world!
The Quotes
“You can’t tell whether people are gay by what they look like. And gay or straight aren’t the only two options.”
“There’s this idea that if you’re not straight, you HAVE to tell all your family and friends immediately, like you owe it to them. But you don’t. You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”
“We reached the point where we knew that whatever people said or thought about us, we knew who we were. And we loved ourselves anyway.”
The TV Show
There’s also a TV show based off the graphic novels and I love it! The cast is amazing; I love their chemistry and how everything just sizzles on screen!
My Thoughts
I don’t read a lot of graphic novels and I didn’t think I’d be interested in these books at all because they were about teenage romance and I’m way past that stage. I do still read fantasy YA because of the fantasy/adventure elements, and I used to love contemporary YA but haven’t been able to relate in years. So it was such a wonderful surprise to read these and realize how much I love them! Nick and Charlie has become one of my favorite fictional couples ever, if not *the* ultimate favorite. They are the cutest and I can’t stop shipping them! This is one of the most wholesome stories ever and it brings me so much joy!
My Feels
All the feels! All the joy! All the wholesomeness, all the cuteness, these books are everything! It’s such a feel-good, happy, heartwarming, cute aggressive, lovely and loving story! I feel like everything in the world could be going wrong, but I could read about Nick and Charlie, and the whole world would be alright again. They are everything good in this world, and we must protect them at all costs!
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this series? Would you read it or watch the show? Did you like it or do you think you would like it?
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.
He says he loves you. So…why does he do that?
You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn
• The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely
“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
I’ve seen so many recommendations for this book and I’ve been in a few abusive relationships so it made me curious. I’m also a people pleaser and have a hard time with boundaries and saying no. I wanted to find out what this book had to say and what I could learn from it.
The Quotes
“Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with his anger; he has a problem with your anger.”
“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”
“An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”
“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”
The Narrator
Peter Berkrot. Great narrator, clear and expressive.
My Thoughts
I got a lot out of this book and I think it’s really great for helping women recognize if they are in abusive relationships. I think it can also help abused women to navigate the self-blame mentality that they often have – “if I was better, he wouldn’t have lost his temper”, “it’s my fault for making him angry”, etc. Abusers gonna abuse, and it’s not your fault.
One thing that I’m not sure I agree with is the author’s belief that women cannot abuse men. He mentions that a lot of the time, what happens is that the men abuse the women to the point that the women become hysterical and/or fight back to defend themselves, then when witnesses/police arrive, the men act all calm but bruised from the women fighting back, while the women are hysterical and look crazy, and so it seems like the women were the abusers. While I’m sure that definitely happens, I also believe that women absolutely can be the abusers towards men.
This book was written more than 20 years ago so I don’t know if the author’s stance has changed or if there is an updated version, but I just want to mention that.
My Feels
This book made me sad in the beginning, because it reminded me of how young and naive I was, and how much I didn’t know and still don’t know, my difficulty in standing up for myself and saying no. I wish I had been stronger.
The later part of the book scared and infuriated me. It’s no wonder so many abused women find it difficult to leave and/or ask for help; there’s so much victim-blaming, and it’s so hard to get people to believe you when the abuser appears charming and great to everyone else, and you feel like a crazy person. And sometimes it’s the people who are supposed to help and advocate for you that are doing the most harm! We as a society need to do better. I don’t know how, but maybe a good start is for everyone to read this book regardless of whether you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship, because it’s a good bet that someone you know might be in one.
My Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars.
Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?
