Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng

A novel about a mother’s unbreakable love in a world consumed by fear.

Twelve-year-old Bird Gardner lives a quiet existence with his loving but broken father, a former linguist who now shelves books in a university library. Bird knows to not ask too many questions, stand out too much, or stray too far. For a decade, their lives have been governed by laws written to preserve “American culture” in the wake of years of economic instability and violence. To keep the peace and restore prosperity, the authorities are now allowed to relocate children of dissidents, especially those of Asian origin, and libraries have been forced to remove books seen as unpatriotic—including the work of Bird’s mother, Margaret, a Chinese American poet who left the family when he was nine years old.

Bird has grown up disavowing his mother and her poems; he doesn’t know her work or what happened to her, and he knows he shouldn’t wonder. But when he receives a mysterious letter containing only a cryptic drawing, he is pulled into a quest to find her. His journey will take him back to the many folktales she poured into his head as a child, through the ranks of an underground network of librarians, into the lives of the children who have been taken, and finally to New York City, where a new act of defiance may be the beginning of much-needed change.

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For the Reading Challenge(s):
2024 52 Book Club Reading Challenge (Prompt #43: About finding identity)
2024 Diversity Reading Challenge
2024 Bookish Books Reading Challenge
2024 Audiobook Challenge
2024 Library Love Challenge

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The Reason

It was immediately available when I browsed for audiobooks, and I was really intrigued by the premise. I haven’t read Little Fires Everywhere, but it’s also on my TBR, and I thought I might as well try the author’s other books. It also helps that it’s both a diversity book and a bookish book, for my reading challenges.

The Quotes

“Why did I tell you so many stories? Because I wanted the world to make sense to you. I wanted to make sense of the world, for you. I wanted the world to make sense.”

“If we fear something, it is all the more imperative we study it thoroughly.”

“Who ever thinks, recalling the face of the one they loved who is gone: yes, I looked at you enough, I loved you enough, we had enough time, any of this was enough?”

“Librarians, of all people, understood the value of knowing, even if that information could not yet be used.”

The Narrator

Lucy Liu. I don’t know if it’s the way the story was written, but her reading seems so block-y. Like she’s reading in blocks. It’s not a big deal, I still enjoyed the story, it was just the lack of change in cadence and it felt weird.

The Characters

Bird is the main character and we see most of the story from his POV, but his mother’s POV is the one that really punches me in the gut.

His mother, Margaret, is Chinese American, and as the story progresses, you can see how she lays low, think that all the initial abuse of Asian Americans don’t apply to her, because she isn’t like them, she isn’t a troublemaker, she hasn’t done anything wrong. She ignores what’s happening, tries to distance herself from the blatant racism, and has a general attitude of “as-long-as-it’s-not-me”. Until it is.

My Thoughts

I thought this book was very well-written, well-researched, well-told. It is so fascinating, but also painful, to see the progression of how things got as bad as they did. This book hits really close to home because, let’s be real, it has happened in real life. It could still happen.

For me, the biggest thing on my mind is how Margaret’s initial inaction, denial, and distancing, is so cowardly, but so completely understandable. I’m not a hero, I don’t think I’ll be brave enough to ever be the first to stand against oppression, especially when the result of it could be death, persecution, or having my loved ones taken away. This book really makes me think, what would I do if it were me? Being honest, I guess I’d run and hide. That would be my first instinct. But if backed into a corner and having no other choice, I guess I’d fight. But then it might be too late.

The lesson it has always been is that, if you stand by and do nothing while others are being oppressed, you are standing with the oppressors. I am reminded by this quote:

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

I also want to note that once again, in times of oppression, we see the power of books, libraries, librarians, knowledge being passed around, and stories being told. Stories are powerful, and I believe stories are the secrets to peace. If everyone read books, listened to stories, they would learn to be more empathic and be less inclined to hurt others. I truly believe that.

My Feels

It’s chilling and scary because it could happen. And I honestly don’t know what I would do. It’s one thing to know rationally what to do, it’s another to do the right thing when you are caught up in feeling the fear. This story scares me.

It also breaks my heart to see the evil that exists in this world, and yet there is also the amazing resilience and courage of the human spirit. This book is going to stay in my mind for a while.

My Rating

5/5 stars. It’s such a painful but powerful story. I highly recommend it to everybody!

Have you read this book? Would you read this book? Did you like the book or do you think you would like it?